Emotional wellbeing for carers

Being a carer isn't easy, especially if, as is often the case, the person with COPD is someone you love. As well as worrying about their health, caring can mean you have to adapt and change your own life too.1 The challenges mean it is common to feel anxious, stressed or have symptoms of depression. You may even sometimes feel resentment or guilt.1

Making time for yourself can be hard to fit in, but it is important to look after yourself so that you can continue to look after the person you care for.1

Simple things you can do every day:1

  • Take short breaks throughout the day
  • Ask friends or family for help
  • Stay healthy with exercise and eating well
  • Do an activity that is just for you
  • Keep connected with friends
  • Share your experiences with other carers

Remember, your healthcare professionals can also support you so if you feel you are struggling, or need a bit of extra help, do book an appointment to go and talk to them.1

The charities Mind and Carers UK have some great tips and resources on looking after your own wellbeing:

Life after being a carer

Looking after someone can be a large and significant part of your life, but often your caring role will change over time, and may come to an end. This could be due to bereavement or a move to residential care if it is no longer possible for you to meet the needs of the person you have been caring for at home.3

Whether you've been caring for your friend or family member for weeks or years, it may have become the focus of your life. When this role changes, or the person you care for passes away, you may be surprised at how big an adjustment it can be.4

Carers often feel a range of emotions over months or years that it may take to adjust to life after caring. These can include:4

  • Loneliness because you may have put your social life on hold whilst caring
  • Sadness and grief for the person you cared for
  • Exhaustion and poor health after putting your own health last
  • Emptiness or numbness
  • Guilt or regret if you can no longer care for the person
  • Lacking in purpose
  • Resentful for the things you may have missed out on while caring
  • Relief or calmness when you no longer have care responsibilities

The way you experience this will be unique to you, and there's no right or wrong way to deal with it. Remember to be kind to yourself, no matter what you are feeling. Take your time and do what works for you.

You may also find it useful to get support from others who have had similar experiences:

  • Cruse is an organisation that offers advice on all aspects of grief
  • Carers UK can offer practical support following a bereavement
  • Dying Matters is a campaign that aims to help people talk more openly about bereavement

References

  1. Asthma + Lung UK. Looking after yourself as a carer. Available at: https://www.asthmaandlung.org.uk/conditions/caring-someone-lung-condition/looking-after-yourself-carer
  2. Asthma + Lung UK. Work and benefits when you're a carer. Available at: https://www.asthmaandlung.org.uk/conditions/caring-someone-lung-condition/work-benefits-when-youre-carer
  3. Carers UK. When caring ends or changes. Available at: https://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advice/practical-support/when-caring-ends-or-changes/
  4. Marie Curie. When caring changes or ends. Available at: https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/being-there/end-of-life-preparation/life-after-caring